"Are you buying my birthday card?"

Last night came the sad realization of how draining and emotionally distraught we have been for the last month and a half.

We went to CVS after dinner last night to get some mothers day cards (shoot me in the head).  It wasn't as bad as expected.  There was a little girl there with her father picking out a mothers day card, she couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.  She was hilarious.  She was picking cards based on how they looked, graphics, characters on the front...etc, most were very inappropriate for the occasion.  Her dad was redirecting her in a brilliant manner "no sweetie that isn't a mothers day card" and the such, the girl could have done stand up at her very young age.  I believe my babies put her there to make the experience less painful for us.
 But I digress, so back to the story. 
We picked the cards and on our way out of the aisle, I shoo him away and tell him I want to pick up another one that he cant see.  He asks, "are you buying my birthday card?".  I tell him to get out of there and call him a silly man.  I pick out the card, we pay, and go home. When we got home I took out his card and handed him the rest  so that he can get his mothers out and sign it.  He says to me "yay you bought me a birthday card".  Silly man, I gave him an odd look and put the rest of our items away.  About a minute later he looks at me and says "I am an idiot, my birthday already passed". 
We had in fact celebrated his birthday with dinner at Shogun, a card, and a cake on April 8th, his birthday and a little less than 3 weeks after our children passed.
 It was at that moment we realized how much of a fog we have been in.  Going through the motions of life without emotions other than our grief.  I don't remember a lot for the past month and a half except for the sadness.  When does this get better?