I miss them

Every. Single. Day.

Sometimes I don't know how I am going to live the rest of my life without them. Those few hours I held my son and daughter brought me the most overwhelming sense of love I've ever felt, so different from the love I have for my husband. If you have never been there, you don't know what I am talking about....end of story. When you have been there, you will understand. I hope to one day feel that again, right now I just feel so lost. I still feel the love, I love them and always will. The love right now is just like winning the lottery but you lost the ticket, technically a millionare but not really. Am I going to make it or am I going to drown in these feelings. I try so hard to be "ok" everyday, sometime I rise to "so so". I know all of this is normal but it doesn't make it any better.

I miss you.